There was a time when I thought I’d have everything figured out by now.
A degree. A career. A steady life that looked good on paper.
But here I am still in school, four months into unemployment, and slowly figuring out what’s next. And for once… I’m starting to feel okay with that.
Because I’ve realized: rushing my timeline was never the answer.
The Comparison Game Almost Broke Me
I’ve spent so many nights comparing myself to others.
I scroll past friends and classmates who’ve already graduated. They have landed amazing jobs. Some seem to have their entire lives mapped out. Yet, I’m still here, building the map as I go.
And what made it even more complicated? Tyler’s family comes from a very traditionally Taiwanese background. There’s a clear path for what success “should” look like. This path includes graduating on time, finding a stable job, getting married, and buying a house.
It’s so different from how I was raised.
My parents gave me freedom. They raised me to believe I could be anything. There were no boxes. There were no checklists. There were no limitations. There was just love, creativity, and the idea that I design a life on my terms.
But that freedom came without a blueprint. I had big ideas… but no structure. Ambition without direction. And as I got older, that lack of clarity started to feel more like a weight than a gift.
Still—my parents gave me something far more valuable than structure: resilience.
I have always lived by the motto. The measure of who you are is what you do with what you have.
My mom raised me and my two blind sisters without a car. She navigated every day with a level of strength and grace. I can only hope to mirror that. And while she carried all of that, my blind father went back to college at age 30. He was just a year older than I am now. He went to become a computer programmer. Now at 29, still in school, I took some breaks, changed my major twice. and failed some classes. I am on track now and trying to find ways to fast track things.
They didn’t just encourage me to dream. They showed me what it means to fight for a better future. This is true even when the odds are stacked against you.
Now, Tyler helps me channel that same drive in a new way.
He brings my dreams down to earth—not to diminish them, but to help me build them.
He grounds me when I spiral. He helps me take action when I get stuck in ideas.
Being around his family has challenged me—but it’s also pushed me to level up in the best way.
This chapter is forcing me to find a balance between dreaming big and building real.
Between being who I am… and becoming who I want to be. even if that is happening a little slower than I want it to.
What Slowing Down Has Given Me
For the longest time, I thought slowing down meant failure.
Like if I wasn’t checking boxes—graduated, employed, successful—I was falling behind.
But once I stopped sprinting toward some invisible finish line, something surprising happened:
I started to feel whole again.
Slowing down has given me permission to reconnect with parts of myself I hadn’t heard from in a long time. The quiet, creative, curious parts. The parts that don’t exist just to be productive or impressive, but to feel—to live.
✨ Clarity
I stepped away from the pressure to “keep up.” This gave me space to ask myself:
What do I really want?
Not what looks good on LinkedIn. Not what will make people proud.
But what will make me feel fulfilled?
It’s uncomfortable to admit when you don’t know.
But it’s also powerful to say: “I’m figuring it out.”
✨ Creativity
For the first time in months, I’ve felt that spark again.
The urge to create—not for likes, not for approval—but because I want to.
I’ve started daydreaming about photo shoots again. Sketching content ideas. Writing blog posts like this one.
That creativity isn’t just about work—it’s about healing. And it only came back once I stopped forcing myself to have it all figured out.
✨ Self-Compassion
I’ve always been hard on myself.
Always thinking I had to do more, be more, catch up.
But slowing down has taught me to give myself grace.
To see that rest is part of progress.
That crying on the couch some days doesn’t make me weak—it makes me real.
It’s okay not to be okay.
It’s okay to need time.
It’s okay to choose softness instead of survival mode.
✨ A Stronger Connection to My “Why”
Without the noise, I’ve been able to hear myself more clearly.
Why I chose engineering.
Why I create content.
Why I care so deeply about growth, about purpose, about doing this life intentionally.
I’m still not where I thought I’d be by now.
But I’m so much closer to who I want to become.
To Anyone Who Feels Like They’re Falling Behind…
If you’ve ever looked around and thought, “I should be further by now…”
You’ve avoided conversations. You didn’t want to explain why you’re still in school. You are also still looking for a job or still figuring it out…
This is for you.
You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are not a failure because your path looks different.
We live in a world obsessed with timelines.
Graduate by 22. Dream job by 23. Married by 25. House, kids, success—on schedule.
And if you don’t hit those milestones right on time? It feels like you’re already late to your own life.
But here’s the truth: you are allowed to take your time.
Some of us are building from scratch.
Some of us are healing while trying to grow.
Some of us face unique challenges. These include disability, trauma, cultural expectations, financial struggles, and mental health issues. Despite this, we get up every day and try again.
That’s not falling behind. That’s resilience.
You are not the delay. You are the strength it takes to keep going.
You are showing up—maybe tired, maybe uncertain, maybe completely overwhelmed—but you’re showing up.
That counts.
That matters.
You’re not running out of time.
You’re not less worthy because your progress looks different.
You are allowed to evolve slowly, intentionally, imperfectly.
So if you’re in that space—between what you thought life would be and what it actually is—I see you.
You’re not alone.
And you are not behind.
You are right on time for your life.
💬 Let’s Talk
Have you ever felt like you were rushing your timeline?
Or that your background and expectations have clashed with who you’re becoming?
Drop a comment or DM me @lifewithalelee—let’s talk about it.
💻 Read more on the blog: https://lifewithalelee.com/2025/03/25/4-months-into-unemployment-the-reality-no-one-talks-about
#LifeWithAle #YouAreNotBehind #LateGradJourney #TaiwaneseCulturalExpectations #ResilientWomen #TimelineHealing #MentalHealthMatters
xoxo
