Life With Alé

It’s been four months since I lost my job.

Four months of searching, applying, and rewriting resumes. Doing everything “right” only to be met with rejection or silence. The roles just don’t align.

The job boards and resume tweaks are just the start. The hardest part of this season has been its effect on my mental health. The most challenging aspect has been its impact on my mental health. This period has challenged my mental well-being. It has also affected my sense of identity. And honestly, to my sense of identity.

The Shame I Don’t Like Admitting

I feel ashamed.
Ashamed that I haven’t graduated yet.
Ashamed that even with experience, creativity, and hustle—I’m still in limbo.
Ashamed that sometimes it feels like everyone else has it figured out… except me.

I know deep down that my journey is valid. I know that I’m working toward something big. I’m finishing a civil engineering degree. I’m building a business. I’m trying.
But when it feels like the world is moving and I’m stuck—it’s hard not to spiral.

The Mental Toll of Uncertainty

Job hunting is more than applying for jobs.
It’s waking up with anxiety and refreshing your inbox 15 times before noon.
It’s feeling guilty for resting, even though burnout is knocking at your door.
It’s wondering if maybe, just maybe, you’re the problem—even when you’re giving it your all.

There are days I feel totally numb.
Days I stare at my screen for hours and still don’t send a single application.
Days I cry in the shower, wondering what I’m doing with my life.

And yet… I keep going.

The Light That Keeps Me Going

One of the brightest parts of this dark season has been my boyfriend, Tyler.

He’s supported me endlessly through every breakdown, every moment of doubt, and every late-night pep talk. He reminds me of my strength when I forget. He believes in me when I don’t recognize myself. He doesn’t just say “it’ll be okay” he shows up, every single day, to prove it.

And honestly? I think all of this is starting to push us toward something bigger. Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling us it’s time for a fresh start.
A new chapter.
A new state.
We’ve been quietly thinking about finding jobs somewhere new, maybe? just maybe this is just the final nudge we needed?

Hope Through the Rut

Even in this rut, I’m finding small sparks of optimism again.

I’m slowly getting excited about content creation and modeling again.
I miss it.
I miss being creative. I miss the shoots, the concepts, the storytelling.
For the first time in a while, I’m feeling the pull to come back to it. I have new energy and a deeper understanding of my voice.

Maybe I haven’t landed the job yet.
Maybe I’m still trying to graduate.
Maybe I’m still figuring it all out.

But I’m not giving up. I’m not quitting.
I’m just navigating the mess in real time.
And I’m holding space for both the pain and the possibility.

If You’re In This Too…

If you’re in a rut, or tired of being “almost there,” know that you’re not alone. If you feel like your worth is tied to productivity, degree completion, or LinkedIn titles, you’re not alone.
If you’re tired of being “almost there,” know that you’re not alone. If you feel like your worth is tied to productivity, degree completion, or LinkedIn titles, please know you’re not alone.
Please know you’re not alone.

This isn’t a “success story.”
It’s a story of resilience. It’s about support and a girl trying to find her way out of the dark. She does this one messy, hopeful step at a time.

💬 Let’s Talk

Are you feeling stuck too?
Drop a comment below or DM me on Instagram @lifewithale
Let’s stop acting like everything is okay. We’re barely holding it together.

We’ll get through it. Together.

#JobSearchStruggles #MentalHealthCheck #StillTrying #LateGradLife #LifeWithAle #HopeInTheHard